God Must Want Me Out

PAUL: WHAT’S THE POINT? TO SULK OR POUT?
WHAT’S THE RHYME AND REASONING?
DON’T HAVE TO SING
JUST NEED TO SHOUT
LOOKS LIKE THE MAN UPSTAIRS JUST WANTS ME OUT.

[Shouts to the sky] Is that it? Is that what you want?

IF I DO, I’LL LOSE MY JOB
THERE’S NO E-E-O WITH GOD
IT’S JUST MORE THAN ODD THAT I CAN’T PLAY
IN CHURCH IF I’M TOO GAY
BUT I CAN SING AND DANCE ALL DAY
ON OLD BROADWAY.
[thunderous applause]

GREGORY: I CAN’T STAND IN THE WAY
OF THIS HOLY HYPOCRISY!

PAUL: WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY?
GREGORY: [Spoken] So wasn’t he gay?
PAUL: WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

GREGORY: [Spoken] He might not be into you.

PAUL: WHAT CAN I DO?
THERE’S NO WAY TO STAND UP TO
ALL THESE RULES THAT MAKE ME HIDE
I’M FRIED!
GREGORY: [spoken] No sweat!
PAUL: I’M SCREWED!
GREGORY: [spoken] Not yet. I’m sorry, that was so inappropriate.

GREGORY: YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE WORLD
BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KNOW YOU’VE TRIED

PAUL: [spoken] Maybe I’m trying too hard. I just need to let it go. My grandfather used to have a saying. I think he got it from a twelve step meeting.

GREGORY
Now you have my full attention!

God Bless the Bastard

PAUL: GOD BLESS THE BASTARD
WHO RUINS YOUR DAY
GOD BLESS THE SONUVABITCH
WHO GETS IN YOUR WAY
THEIR WORLD IS SO NARROW
FROM MY POINT OF VIEW

GREGORY: THEN WHY SHOULD THEY LISTEN TO YOU?
[Spoken] I like this! It’s like Mr. Rogers!

PAUL: GOD BLESS THE ASSHOLE
WHO SUFFERS FROM FEAR
GOD BLESS THAT DICKHEAD [gesturing to Stevens],
WHO’S WATCHING HIS REAR?
PAUL: I KNOW THAT DEEP DOWN,
HE MUST SUFFER INSIDE.
GREGORY: [spoken] So that's a new thing? Dickhead Pride”?

PAUL: SO GOD BLESS THE DICKHEAD,
THE PRICK AND THE BITCH
IF I HAD THREE WISHES,
I NEVER WOULD SWITCH

DUET: TO BE ONE AMONG THEM
WOULD NEVER SEEM RIGHT
SO GOD BLESS THE BASTARD
HERE AND HEREAFTER
GOD BLESS HIM JUST FOR TO-NIGHT.

GREGORY [spoken] What am I saying! Godammit Paul, where’s your sense of outrage? Where’s your dignity? This whole thing is so incredibly hypocritical.

GREGORY: IT’S A CRIME AND IT’S A SIN
WHAT A STATE THE WORLD IS IN
WHY SHOULD PEOPLE TRY
TO MAKE US HIDE
WHILE YOU AND I JUST TAKE IT ON THE CHIN?

GREGORY: [Points in ALAN’s direction]
HE’S THE WEIRDO, THE ODD’N
NEEDS FREUD IN HIS SCHADEN
AND IF HE WON’T CHANGE THEN I’LL GIVE HIM A PRODDIN’
WE FIGHT OUR OWN FIGHTS THIS IS OUR CIVIL RIGHTS
THANK GOD IT’S OKAY
ENSEMBLE OF PATRONS: THANK GOD IT’S OKAY . . . WE’RE GAY!

GREGORY [spoken] Oh, I understand religion plenty. Are you ready to testify children? I said [preacher voice] are you ready to testify, my Brothers and Sisters!